Bondage 101: Restraints for Beginners

Are you tied up this evening? Would you like to be?

Bondage, one of the fundamentals of BDSM*, is a super hot and exciting activity to add to your sexual repertoire. It can be as simple as a pair of handcuffs, or as intricate as Shibari rope bondage that blurs the line between erotic play and art.

*Not familiar with BDSM? That’s a whole separate post, but BDSM stands for:

Bondage

Discipline / Domination

Sadism / Submission

Masochism

If you’ve been fantasizing about trying some bondage play but you’re not sure where to begin, the intimidation factor can stop you from diving in to a good time. This post will help you navigate some entry-level bondage play, so you’ll be ready to tie your partner up (or get tied up yourself) right away with the right accessories!

How To Talk To Your Partner About Restraint Play

First things first: bondage play is not something to spring on your partner without any prior discussion. As with any sexual activity, consent is key. Some people are really not into any elements of BDSM, and that’s totally fine—it’s certainly not for everyone. However, if you and your partner have talked about trying bondage and have a mutual level of enthusiasm for getting strapped down (or up), there are a few more questions you can ask to figure out how far to go:

• How/to what extent would you like to be tied up? Just your wrists, or full-body bondage? Somewhere in between?
• What do you want to happen after being restrained? You don’t have to choreograph every move, but if there are any limits to what your partner is willing to do while restrained, make sure you find out first!
• What do your bondage fantasies involve? What would make the experience even hotter for you?
• What happens if one person wants to stop? Will you use a safe word, or simply say stop? It’s important to figure this out in advance. If it’s your first time, one or more people may get overwhelmed and want to take a break or stop entirely, which is important to respect. Other people may consider saying “stop” part of the fun, and not actually want to stop playing until a different safe word is uttered. Again, consent is the most important thing in BDSM, so be 100% certain that you understand this before the play begins.

Types of Restraints for Beginners

Many (if not most!) people immediately think of rope when they hear “restraints”. Rope bondage is awesome, but it’s more advanced than you may have guessed. In order to keep the tied-up person comfortable, you need specialty rope and a fairly deep knowledge of the different kinds of ties and knots that can and should be used on a person during rope play. Rope bondage is a kind of play I would recommend to more advanced restrainers and restrainees. Here’s what I recommend instead:

• Bondage tape
• Cuffs (both wrist and ankle)
• Restraint systems
• Spreader bars

There are certainly more kinds of restraints than this, but if you can master this list, you’ll be well-positioned (😉) to enjoy restraint play now and explore more later!

Restraints for Beginners: Bondage Tape

Bondage tape is a super-safe, inexpensive, and versatile way to explore restraint play for the first time. It’s great because you’re only limited by your imagination—you can use it anywhere in any way you and your partner choose!

Bondage tape is specially designed to stick to itself, but nothing else. A double-wrap around your wrists will bind your wrists together, but won’t stick to your skin. Bondage tape can easily be peeled off without causing any discomfort or injury, or can be cut apart in a pinch. It won’t pull out your body hair or leave any sticky residue behind. Use it to bind, gag, blindfold, position, or anything else you can dream of!

https://www.hushcanada.com/store/creative-conceptions-sex-ties-and-bondage-tape.html

Restraints for Beginners: Cuffs

You may instantly picture fuzzy handcuffs, but there are so many more options available—leather, faux-leather, or nylon cuffs are stylish, comfortable, easy-to-use, and more flexible (in a few ways) than metal handcuffs. Most come with D-ring or O-ring attachments with clasp connections that you can lock together. You can also secure them to other accessories or anchor points to enjoy any way you like!

https://www.hushcanada.com/store/sportsheets-sex-and-mischief-enchanted-kit-with-cuffs-and-blindfold.html

Some cuffs are designed especially for your wrists or ankles, but most are fully adjustable so you can secure them to any limb. Try a full set of four and see how many sexy positions you can get your partner into.

https://www.hushcanada.com/store/bound2please-leather-basic-cuff-set-black.html

Restraints for Beginners: Restraint Systems

Restraint systems come in many configurations. Basically, it’s any restraint accessory that includes cuffs and then some.

https://www.hushcanada.com/store/sportsheets-sex-and-mischief-shadow-neck-and-wrist-restraint.html

Some restraint systems bind multiple body parts together, like the neck-and-wrist restraint above. This is a good way to achieve more complicated restraint positions without having to become a rope expert. These are easy to get into and out of, so they’re excellent for beginners who still want to enjoy the hottest bondage positions.

https://www.hushcanada.com/store/calexotic-scandal-ball-gag-red-10608.html

Others may include ball gags, blindfolds, or even spreader bars!

https://www.hushcanada.com/store/pipedream-fetish-fantasy-series-spread-em-bar-and-cuff-set.html

Adding different accessories to the mix is the best way to figure out the kind of restraint play that turns you and your partner on the most.

https://www.hushcanada.com/store/sportsheets-under-the-bed-restraint-system.html

One of my favourite restraint systems for beginners is the under-the-mattress system. It’s so easy to use—just position the straps under your mattress, and in less than a minute you can turn your bed into a BDSM playground. You can just leave this system in place permanently by tucking the cuffs under the mattress when not in use, so you’re ready to play any time.

Restraint Safety for Beginners

Although all the restraint toys in this post are perfectly safe for beginners to use, there are some safety tips you should always keep in mind while practicing bondage play. Restraints should be comfortably snug, but never tight enough to restrict circulation or airflow. If you’re using a neck restraint and you or your partner start to feel dizzy or lightheaded, you should immediately hit pause on your play session and loosen up your restraints. Same goes if you start feeling any pins-and-needles, pain, numbness, or other weird sensations in your bound body parts. Keep a pair of scissors nearby just in case you need to quickly free your partner from their restraints.

Never leave your partner unattended when they’re restrained. Even if they’re comfortable and safe at the moment, remember they’re likely not able to adjust the restraints by themselves, so they need you around to help them out if things get too tight.

Remember to establish boundaries ahead of time, and always respect them in the moment. Bondage play can bring up all sorts of unexpected emotions and sensations, and ignoring any red flags can do real damage to yourself or your partner, both physically and emotionally. Check in with each other often, and make sure everyone involved is comfortable and having fun.

That’s it! Now you’re ready to make your first foray into restraint play, and BDSM in general. Stay safe and have good fun and great orgasms.